Vanishing Points

hey louie! there you are! what are you doing? I'm eating my lunch. why? why? because you're supposed to be doing a job today. you remember? job? oh yeah! I remember. I'll get right to it. that's what you say. but here you are, sitting on your fat ass. hey! gimme a fuckin' break ok? I said I'd get to it! what's that you're eating? it's a canoli. you had enough. now beat it. you can thank me later. thank you? for what? for keeping this from being your last meal is what. you get me? oh. yeah. well thanks. you're welcome.

what can you see? what I want in this world. you can? I don't see anything. you can't see what I can. what's that? you.

man, what is that noise? that's not noise! that's music! you call that music? whatchoo mean? it's jeecy! and the jungle! c'mon man! it's like baby baby baby. what's up with that? hell, I don't know. maybe it's a love song. love? what's love got to do with it? that's a very good question, you know? a hell of good question, you ask me. wish I knew the answer. I do. me too.

how's it going, slim? man, it's tough out here, fred tell me about it. I spend all day looking for scraps it's an absolute dog's life, is what it is well, that's appropriate, technically speaking, don't you think? look who's improved his canine vocabulary! and I can wag my tail at the same time. see? I gotta hand it to you, fred, you are one talented dog can I smell your butt? we're dogs. you gotta ask? good point

what is it? I'm not sure. but it's a surprisingly well-preserved specimen. maybe it is a totem to one of their ancient gods. perhaps. we should study it for clues about the demise of this civilization. the centuries have not been kind to the remains of those who dwelt in this place. from the looks of things, they had a tough time from the start. the pathos is palpable. indeed. pass the bottle, will you?

aren't you getting out of bed today? I dunno. I don't feel like it. what's the matter now? you name it. the dog ate my homework. my computer died. my boss hates me. my girlfriend moved out. and I have a hangnail. why go on? man, it sucks to be you. did you eat yet? no! you wanna get something? yeah, but you got a lot on your mind, right? screw it. c'est la vie. you're buying, right? it appears that way. cool.

can you believe this, man? believe what? all this garbage about climate change. I mean, give me a break. it's a total hoax. you're kidding, right? the science is overwhelming on that issue. Nah. I think it's all a commie sales job orchestrated by the Kenyan in the White House, designed to lead to us Christians being arrested, and our guns being taken away. is that so? and where do you get this incisive information? Fox News, man. it's right on. I forgot to ask: what is the color of the sky on the planet you live on? whaddya mean? never mind.

disciple! come here! yes, my lord ba'al. what is it? the time has come. I'm dedicating my new palace. so soon, lord? you've hardly gotten over that unfortunate, er, eviction, jehovah forced you to endure. silence! that was an aberration! if you say so, lord. just look at it! gaze upon its grandeur! this, lord? a palace? but it's a wreck! blasphemy! it just needs a little fixing up, is all. there's no arguing that, lord. it will be an everlasting shrine to my greatness! I shall ride my chariot along its gracious promenades! hold on a second, I'm trying to picture it. walkways lined with rapturous throngs! and virgins, throwing flowers at my feet! cue the virgins! every decent palace needs them. virgins? oh yes. the more the better, eh, lord? absolutely.

here's the coffee you ordered, boss. hey, whatcha writin'? my memoirs. the world needs to hear what I have to say. yeah? what's that? I'm gonna tell 'em the truth. the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I ain't leavin' nothin' out. so, it's fictional, is that it, boss? pretty much. probably a good idea.

he's in here. somewhere. the building's huge. how are we gonna find him? I got a plan. yeah? yeah. we have the city condemn the place and blow it up. gee, can we do that? no problem. I got friends in the building department. but this place is architecturally and historically significant. you think the city will tear it down anyway? that's such a crime. you think it would be a first? right. forget it.

sir knight, your new set of armor is quite original. whose handiwork is it, if I may ask? thank you, m'lady. twas forged for me by yonder blacksmith. it has a unique look about it. not shiny or oiled at all. in fact, it's rather scaly and flaking off. yes, m'lady. it predicts the coming industrial revolution, and ultimate decline of same. putting western economies at a competitive disadvantage with the rising east. you speak in riddles, knight. I will cheer for you anyway. but are you sure you can make it to your horse? I could use a forklift, couldn't I? a what? I mean squire! now where has that miscreant gone off to?

is this the train to the valley? yes, sir. that's where we're going. ok, good. I can't wait for the wine tasting. temperature's gonna hit at least 120 today, I hear. what? in napa valley? how do grapes grow in such heat? napa valley? ha ha. no, this train's bound for death valley. one way. what? it can't be! I didn't even bring any water! I suggest you try and find some shade there. if you can. ha ha! I'm gonna fry! like a bug under a lens, probably. just sit back, relax and conserve your strength. you're gonna need it.

how do you suppose things got to be like this? who knows? god has a plan. except for defectives like you, of course. me? whaddya mean? you musta been born a bad seed, is all I can figure. really? does it show? well, yeah! not that I mind, but you might want to consider changing your shroud once in a while. but I do! every other year. whether it needs it or not. I bet that gets you a lot of dates. it does! not with real girls, of course. awesome.

it's coming. where's ernie? dunno. he was right behind us. damn. I bet he stopped at that ice cream place. how are we gonna pull off this heist without him? just get ready. there's no turning back now. but he's got the plans! what? he wanted to carry something. you gave him the plans? we're screwed! so now what are we gonna do? wait and have some ice cream? RIP Jimmy 10/27/47 - 8/11/12

I must say, edna, I love it out here in the country. me too, stanley. it's so simple and rustic. you make it that way, dear. you're so sweet. have the help serve the twinkies, would you?

there's a new black hole in the universe. great! not really. it is so dense, nothing, not even light, can escape from it. sounds like one to me. where is it? a soul-sucking, attention-eating, black hole into which all of our hopes and dreams are disappearing. unfortunately, it resides in the White House. oh, that one. yeah, we're fucked. right.

dude! yeah? that title. I totally see what you mean! you and I are on the same wavelength! it's so great when two people can communicate like that, and have such a profound innate understanding of each other. man, what the hell are you talking about? "wreckage of humanity?" I get it! this place says it all! this place? I'm not talking about this place. then what are you talking about? you. me? afraid so. oh. ok. well, thanks. don't mention it.

what's the plan? whaddya mean? all of a sudden, there's gotta be a plan? well, yeah. isn't that how we do thngs? no that isn't how we do things. we do things that are inherent to our nature. that are what? and because of that, we don't need a plan. you get it? not really. that's ok, because you wouldn't get the plan, either. I wouldn't? I don't think so. it's your nature not to. so that's good then? might as well be.