NYC

they're up there. where? in the church. no way. they wouldn't dare. it's true. i can smell 'em. get the ropes. we'll go in from above. not a problem. just keep me covered. remember, they don't have eyes. they see radio waves. well turn off your iphone then. good idea.

I don't want to be here. nobody wants to be here. they have to be here. why is that? god only knows. well, I'm not gonna ask him. I don't think you'd like his answer anyway.

stanley? what is that man doing? what man, dear? see? in that window? stanley! that man isn't wearing pants! put the binoculars down, edna.

how we gonna get this guy? easy. you go up, I go down. we find him in the middle. yeah? then what? then we gently escort him to the car. we do? no, you idiot. you push him over the edge. job done. but there's people here! they're lookin' at the art. not at goons like us. hey, speak for yourself. I ain't no goon. no? you're just a nice upstanding citizen, right? I am. a real college professor. who happens to whack people in public. yeah, ok. I'm going up. see you on the way down. enjoy the art, professor. yeah, you too.

stanley, there's something up there. nonsense, edna. it's just a bridge. I know I saw something stanley. hey, what was that noise? stanley! LOOK OUT! OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT IS THAT THING?! stanley! I want to go home! now! just as soon as I get loose from these tentacles, dear.

conform . consume. knowledge is evil. serve the state. obey.

do you feel welcomed? no, should I? isn't that what the statue of liberty is all about? welcoming? not for guys like you and me, she ain't. probably not. being from jersey. she's not looking in that direction. not at all.

we're caught in its web! what web? whose? can't you see? we're trapped! did you take your meds today? uh, what makes you ask? just my intuition, that's all. what else does your intuition tell you? see those towers? my intuition is to stay away from them. why? I dunno. but you should listen to me on this one.

there! see him? no, where? 27th floor, 2nd window to the left. hey, forget that guy. look at the 28th floor. oh man, you're right. forget him. who is she? I don't know, but I'm putting on a longer lens.

scout team one calling base. I read you, scout team. what is it? we have a problem. we're stuck on this planet, and don't know how to get off. what do you mean? just beam up like usual. yeah, well, we'd love to, but we sort of lost our device. whaddya mean, you sort of lost it? well, you see, they have these things here called cell phones? so? yeah, well we accidentally picked up one of those, and left our device on a park bench. dammit carl! tell me about it. when we went back to get it, it was gone. so now, some human is walking around trying to make a call with an Arcturan particle beam disintegrater. jesus h. christ! he's liable to obliterate an entire building! yeah, but we've noticed that they seem to tear down everything worthwhile on this miserable excuse for a planet. so then, maybe no one will notice. that's what we're kinda hoping.

who chose this place for the meeting? I did. why? I don't know. just something about it. creeps me out. yeah, now that you mention it. kinda bright in here. right. you don't think we, you know, stand out a little? I'd say so.

do you have the stolen a-bomb secrets, Boris? I lost them, Natasha! some damned little squirrel pooped on my head! can you believe it? Mr. Big will be very unhappy, Boris. it's not my fault! what should I do? defect? and leave me here to face the central committee? with no a-bomb secrets? you would do that to me, Boris? well, I really wouldn't want to. .

where are we going? this is the train to the liquification plant. the. . . what? we are to be emulsified into bug food. what the fuck are you talking about? I'm referring to our bug masters. are you nuts? what bug masters? those we must obey. hey! I want off of this train! we are all to be harvested. I'm pretty sure this is my stop. I mean. . . we must. . . obey. ok, you obey. I'm outta here.

he's home. I see him. good. what's he doing? looks like he's eating. anyone with him? I'll say. she is a looker too. so now what? the plan stays the same. we take him out. ok. what about her? maybe she'll sit with us while we finish his dinner. I like that. me too.

keep staring at it. you never know. maybe it'll move.

stanley! I thought I asked you to take out the garbage! yes edna. and do try and not step on my petunias, ok? yes dear, but I believe jeeves did that last week, dear. oh? that's not what he said. really. what else did the two of you talk about? I'm sure you don't want to know. I suppose not.

so he's in there? for sure? it's still daylight, isn't it? he's in there. and we're gonna just go in there and get him? not us. you. I'll be out here, waiting. now hold on. you want me to go in there. all alone. you got it. and I'm supposed to get Vlad the Impaler. by myself. I know you can do it. exactly how, did you say? I forget. you use this little item on him. shit! that's just a cross! that won't do anything! he'll shrink in fear, trust me. how can you possibly know that? I saw it in a movie once. a movie? are you serious? it was very realistic. but what if it doesn't work? then you get to see what being impaled feels like. fuck it. gimme that bad boy. I'm gonna rock the house. go get him, champ. at least have a latte waiting for me when I get out. absolutely. and one for Vlad too. you never know. good idea. I wonder if he takes sugar.

police! drop it! ok, don't shoot. you got me. now turn around. what, you gonna frisk me? no, I'm just taking your wallet. what? you're a cop! I guess I fooled you, didn't I?