10+ faves
nora likes ellsworth kelly
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where's the guard?
he went to the next gallery.
ok, quick, let's take this picture.
you know you're not supposed to.
I'm sure mr. kelly wouldn't mind.
no way out
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hey, paulie, how do we get out of here?
whaddya mean? we just arrived.
I know. I got a bad feeling about this place, that's all.
how come? can't you just enjoy the sunset like everyone else?
you mean, like those 2 over there?
who?
the 2 guys in blue. as in cops.
hey, forget about them. they're on vacation.
they're cops. they give me heartburn.
you always did worry too much.
yeah, well I'm still here to talk about it, ain't I?
you make that sound like it's a good thing.
hey! don't start!
yeah, ok. have another donut.
I think I will. nice sunset, isn't it?
yeah. nice.
rooted
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edna, somebody's at the door.
can't you get it, stanley? I'm basting a turkey.
dammit edna, I'm watching the game.
just get up off your butt and answer the door, stanley.
I'm sure it's for you anyway, edna.
well just tell them to wait.
I'm gonna tell them to scram, is what I'm gonna do.
fine by me, stanley.
I mean, a man's got a right to sit in his house in peace.
it's ok, dear. I'd hate for you to have to put your pants on.
yes, well, there's that too.
apocalypse
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is it the end?
not at all. just the beginning.
the beginning of what?
move over here and I'll show you.
mmm. ok.
cover
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he's up there, private. go find him.
I don't see him, sir. how will I know it's him?
he's wearing a banana on his head.
oh. ok.
I"m kidding you idiot. he'll have a gun aimed at you. think you can remember that?
right. got it.
slept here last night
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dude! that is one sweet sleeping bag!
you cannot sleep in it. it's mine.
just for one night!
don't even think about it!
comfy!
dammit! get out!
nighty night.
hey! who took my last twinkie?
retreat
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think they'll find us here?
not if we don't want them to.
I don't want to ever be found.
how about by me?
silly boy. you already found me.
I did, didn't I.
yes, thank god.
they see us
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don't move. don't even breathe.
what's wrong?
look. over there.
my god! what is that?
I don't know, but it's looking right at us.
it's here
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did you see it?
where?
below that ripple. it just came up for air. it's there right now.
what is it?
I dunno, but it was huge.
how huge?
huge enough that you would be no more than a light snack.
ok, I've heard enough. I'm outta here.
right behind you.
where the money is
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geez, boss. how long we gonna stay on this road?
what's the matter with you, curly? it's beautiful here.
yeah, I know, but geez, boss, we been driving for hours.
we'll get there when we get there.
where we goin'?
anyplace where there ain't cops.
well, there's none around here.
there ain't no banks, either.
yeah, good point.
launch codes (запуск коды)
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which one is it?
the tall one, over there.
how can you tell?
I know. I designed it.
no kidding?
and that's just one of many. hundreds.
it might as well be invisible.
that's the idea.
a missile. disguised as a building. how cool is that.
it's ancient technology now, of course.
yes, but these humans. . .
have not a single clue .
good for us, eh?
yes, very good.
we launch at dawn.
I'll be up early.
me too.
I, robot
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guess who this is: 'you want some more?'
yeah, the bartender in '5th Element.'
pretty good, huh?
you are a very talented machine.
thanks. it's all in my circuitry.
go ahead and pour yourself a drink.
well, maybe I'll have a little lubricating oil. just a taste, of course.
of course.
they only come out at night
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did you hear that?
no. what?
something's moving out there.
you're imagining things. there's nobody else here.
no, man. I heard it. like a clicking.
oh shit.
what?
I see it. it's coming this way.
OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?
I don't know, but I'm not waiting to find out.
rock of ages
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I suggest you don't get any closer.
why? it's a bunch of rocks.
you go over there, you're not coming back.
what're you talking about, man?
it all started here. it's like a black hole.
say what?
I'm just telling you. be warned. don't go there.
put down the crack pipe, dude. be real.
I'll inform your friends. maybe they'll miss you.
hey, I'm not going anywhere.
say hello to ralph. you'll be joining him.
I don't know any ralph.
you will.
particle accelerator
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did anybody bring the cream cheese?
roger was supposed to.
well, where is he?
he couldn't make it. says he has a cold.
dammit! so now what are we going to do?
well, how about I go pick up some butter?
butter? are you nuts? you can't put butter on a bagel!
oh. right. I forgot. ok, I'll get the cream cheese.
good. and hurry. the kit for this superconducting super collider has thousands of pieces. we'll be here all day.
ok. I am looking forward to a little atom smashing.
nothing like particle acceleration to improve a sunny day.
I've always said so.
especially with a good bagel and cream cheese.
obviously.
outlaw blues
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play me something, joey.
whaddya wanna hear, pauley?
somethin' nice. you know, soothing.
soothing, eh? how about 'cry me a river?'
that ain't soothing. that's downright sad.
yeah, well that's what you're gonna hear. know why?
why, joey?
cause you screwed up, big time, pauley.
whaddya mean?
I mean on that thing the other day.
that thing? hey! that wasn't my fault, joey.
yes it was, pauley. and you're going down for it.
hey! joey! that ain't fair! it's not right!
know what, pauley? you can cry me a river.
the wrath of god
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and so God got totally sick of mankind, right? he told Noah he's gonna destroy the earth, and all living creatures dwelling under the heavens.
yeah, cattle, fowl, crawling creatures, all that.
so he makes it rain 40 days and 40 nights, right? and the earth is flooded for months and months, because God wants to wipe out all living things.
except those on the ark, of course.
yeah, and fishes.
whaddya mean, fishes?
well, Noah didn't bring fishes onto the ark, did he?
don't think so.
but fishes ain't gonna die in no flood, are they?
no. but why would God want to kill fishes anyway?
same reason he wants to kill dogs and cats and chickens. whatever that is. but not fishes, obviously.
it's logically inconsistent. it vexes me.
well, he saved humans and animals too, didn't he?
yeah, and why? didn't he regret creating humans?
yeah, he did.
so why give them a 2nd chance?
how the hell should I know? he's god, not me.
well, he should have thought through this ark thing more.
you tell him that. now finish your drink.
ok. but it's your turn to pick up the check.
that's what you said last time, you weasel.
whatever.
casualty
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the fuse is lit.
ok, clear everybody out.
what about charley?
except for him.
really?
he'll never know what hit him.
gee, I hope not.
hey. better him than you, right?
thanks. you are so comforting.
I try.
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