Alan Mays' photos with the keyword: insults

The Salesman—He Nags You Until You Must Buy

13 Feb 2019 1 700
This vinegar valentine is a postcard that was addressed to H. W. Booser, 13th Street, Harrisburg, Pa. The card was postmarked first in Lewisberry, Pa., and then a second time in Harrisburg, Pa., on Feb. 14, 1908. Although the postcard was sent anonymously with no message or signature, it's possible that the recipient recognized the sender by the postmark or through the handwriting of the address. As it turns out, Harry W. Booser lived at 121 N. 13th Street in Harrisburg, and he worked as a salesman, so the vinegary humor of the card was apparently directed at him. The Salesman His motto is still do or die And he nags you until you must buy. His line is complete And his nerve hard to beat But sometimes he goes on the fly. Signs, etc., in illustration: Office. This is our busy day. Samples. This way out. 85% discount to jobbers. Expense account.

You Teach Each Little Elf More Than You Know Yours…

09 Feb 2015 3 2029
An insulting " vinegar valentine " for schoolteachers. Schoolmistress You teach each little elf More than you know yourself; And talk like a petticoat college; To spank the little boys Is the greatest of your joys; 'Tis thus you preside at the seat of knowledge. For another example of a vinegar valentine, see Wretched Typo the Printer .

My Heart Has Turned from Red to Grey

12 Feb 2016 2 664
My heart has turned from red to grey And is heavy as lead on account of you; For it's loved you long, and it's loved you true, And your coldness has turned it a dismal hue. (This handmade greeting card isn't really a vinegar valentine --it's downright sulfuric!)

Wretched Typo the Printer

09 Feb 2015 2 1391
An insulting " vinegar valentine " aimed at printers. Printer Lead-colored claws, tobacco-stained jaws, Wretched Typo, you cram up your stick, Drunk today to your sorrow, half sober tomorrow, And then swear you're a regular "brick." Your foreman condemns how you count up your "ems," How you "sub" it at half-price he likes, But the editor only, at his desk groaning lonely, Damns you and your interminable "strikes." For another example of a vinegar valentine, see You Teach Each Little Elf More Than You Know Yourself .

Xmas Greeting From One To Another

18 Dec 2015 2 560
A postcard sent to Al Lebengood, Orwigsburg, Schuylkill County, Pa., in 1911.

The Letters You Type Are a Scandalous Show!

22 Jan 2015 2 1171
A vinegar valentine postcard dating to the time when "typewriter" (rather than typist) was commonly used to refer to the person doing the typing as well as to the machine itself. Typewriter About grammar and spelling Just nothing you know, And the letters you type Are a scandalous show!

Fish Is a Brain Food, Which Is Said to Never Fail

30 Oct 2014 645
Fish is a brain food, Which is said to never fail. I therefore recommend That you should eat a whale.

There's a Pumpkin Head on Both Sides of This Card

Don't Be a Dunce!

12 Feb 2016 2 986
"Don't be a dunce. Try to get a little useful information about things in general." Book title: "Things You Should Know." An example of a "cynical, sarcastic, often mean-spirited" vinegar valentine .

The Jokemaster

12 Feb 2014 1 1545
"The Jokemaster. / At cracking jokes you're a wow, / But your wisecracks are old, somehow, / Your jokes are stale, your puns are cheap, / You're so darn funny you make us weep!" A vinegar valentine criticizing those jokesters who tell us, "Listen--here's a new one!," and then proceed to relate a stale old chestnut from Joe Miller 's Joke Book (the first version of the book was published as Joe Miller's Jests, or the Wit's Vade-Mecum in 1739).

Ye Gilded Boob

29 Jan 2014 1 1238
"Ye Gilded Boob. / You think that you are: just it, / With your monocle [kid gloves] and ten-dollar hat." A vinegar valentine that pokes fun at pretentious fools. The reference to a "ten-dollar hat" may come from the saying, "He wears a ten-dollar hat on a five-cent head," suggesting that an expensive hat can't make up for a lack of intelligence. For a similar valentine, see Oh! You Lobster .

Oh! You Lobster

29 Jan 2014 3 1386
"Oh! You Lobster. / It's all very fine to wine and dine / A pretty dear sweet little miss / It looks very swell, but will you tell / How it's done on a salary llike this ($10 per)." This vinegar valentine has been personalized with the initials "F.F." for the man, "J.V." for the woman, and "The Biltmore" hotel as the setting for the wining and dining. The early twentieth-century meaning of "lobster" was similar to today's "sugar daddy." For a similar valentine, see Ye Gilded Boob .

Thumbing the Turkey

18 Nov 2013 821
I take it that these kids don't care much for turkey since they're thumbing their noses at this one. An odd Thanksgiving greeting posted for the Weird Vintage Postcards group.

You Can Go to This Fellow

24 Sep 2013 3 3 1105
Or check out the Weird Vintage Postcards group instead.