my posse

what am I doing here? it's just routine. face the wall. am I being arrested? no further questions. I was just walking by. we know. empty your pockets. I think maybe I need a lawyer. that's against the rules. what rules? it's all in today's tweet. tweets aren't rules. they are now.

you know what I think? pretty much. really? uh huh. that's good.

now, where did you say you saw this, young lady? right there, officer. I saw it. and what exactly did you see? ooh, it was gigantic. and fast. and that poor swimmer. . . there was a swimmer? yes, and he had no chance. the thing was huge. what happened to him? he just disappeared. it was like he was bait. bait, you say? swimming in his clothes? who does that? and, well, my uncle, he's sort of a scientist? what kind of scientist? well, he does things with genetics? invents things. what kinds of things? like genetic mutations? huge sea monsters, I guess. sea monsters. and how about the swimmer? did you know him? oh. he was a reporter, for the local paper. and this was your uncle? did I say that? yes. my. . . uncle. he didn't like him snooping around the lab. I see. and now the reporter's gone? oh, yes. very gone. for good, I'm sure. and where's your, ah, uncle? oh, he had to leave. isn't it a beautiful day? yes, it is. well thanks again, miss. anytime, officer.

thanks for letting me wear your shirt. I like it. me too. really? on you? totally.

no? then who is it? fuck if I know. that is not very helpful. no offense, but tell someone who cares.

you sent for me, my lord ba'al? yes. I'm tired of this judeo-christian propaganda. I want a holiday. what kind of holiday, lord? I want a holiday for me, dammit! like in the old days! those were fun times, weren't they, lord? indeed. blood lust. orgies. uninterrupted sex. but that was centuries ago, lord. will it work now? of course! people are more deviant than ever! true. I mean, just look at the internet. the what? never mind. get to work on it! like now! yes, lord. and while you're at it, I'm low on virgins again. so soon? keep 'em coming, slave. certainly, lord. and my used car lot? yes, lord? the inventory! it's too fucking high! find some buyers, dammit! of course. I'll need a new plaid suit for my holiday party too. plaid? your taste is impeccable, lord, as always. too bad jehovah didn't think so. big mistake, not inviting him to your parties. yeah, but what can you do?

need a ride? definitely. where you from? Detroit. me too. I'm heading to LA. this is Montana. you're a little out of your way, aren't you? yeah, there's a few places I need to stay away from. like where? like most places between Detroit and LA. isn't that kind of inconvenient? very.

oh, that reminds me. can I borrow the car? to go where? um, california? what? that's over 2,000 miles away! yeah. I'll need money for gas too.

can we go up? no way. why do you ask? I thought I heard the all-clear signal. well I didn't hear it. man, we been down here so long. go on up there then. you don't wanna? and start to glow at night? no thanks. even for a coffee run? fine. bring me an iced latte. you want whole milk with that? de-irradiated? is that even a thing? guess not. think I'll pass. yeah, me too.