I Can't Believe It's Not Cheese!

I wasn't really raised to think of processed cheese as something you served to impress guests. But who cares? It's all so damn cute! (L) Front and back covers of a promo published by Kraft Foods, Chicago, Illinois. For you Pyrex fans: googling the phrase "kraft cream cheese pyrex" will get you a link to an issue of Life magazine from 4/8/57, and a closer look at the promo glassware that Kraft was selling their cream cheese in. (R) First two pages from the booklet.

There was probably enough sodium in most of these snacks to kill the entire armed forces of a mid-sized nation in Europe. Luckily, the half-dozen highballs or martinis you'd be throwing back between nibbles would wash that all away.

The stuffed celery makes your snack tray radiate like a miniature sun! Woo!

Okay, I admit it. I'd totally eat that dip. Maybe with extra Tabasco added. P.S: BACON!!!!

Just having a bit of fun with Photoshop. I know it's a big image, but I wanted to get the full "wallpaper" effect. See the uncredited illustration on the front of the Kraft booklet.

Three outer sections of a promotional fold-out published by Kraft Foods Co., Chicago, IL. (The front features "Pinwheel Vegetable Casserole." No, I have no idea what "Pinwheel Biscuits" are, but those really are vegetables struggling for life beneath the swampy cheese product. I know because they're listed in the recipe.)

And would Madame like Bland, Extra Bland, or Super-Double-Bonus Bland Flavor today?

Cheese, with its happy faculty for making other foods resemble close-ups of various unfortunate skin conditions, may be consumed with glee so long as you keep the dining room lights turned down low...

Some other recipes included were "Mexican Relish" (?), Noodle Ring, Biscuit Whirls, and Eggplant Souffle' (??). Try 'em all: For SCIENCE!! Front of an advertising fold-out published by Kraft-Phenix Cheese corporation, Chicago, Illinois.