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I felt that something had broken within me in which my life had always rested, that I had nothing left to hold on to, and that morally my life had stopped. An invincible force compelled me to get rid of that existence. . . It was a force like my old aspiration to live, only it impelled me in the opposite direction.
All this took place at a time when so far as my outer circumstances went, I ought to have been completely happy. I had a good wife who loved me and whom I loved; good children and a large property . . . I was respected by kinsfolk . . . and loaded with praise by strangers. Moreover, I was neither insane nor ill. On the contrary, I possessed a physical and mental strength, which I have rarely met in persons of my age.
And yet I could give no reasonable meaning to any actions of my life . . . I sought for an explanation in all the branches of knowledge acquired by men . . . I sought like a man who is lost and seeks to save himself -- and I found nothing. I became convinced, moreover, that all those before me who had sought for an answer in the science have also found nothing. And not only this, but that they have recognized that the very thing which was leading me to despair -- the meaningless absurdity of life -- is the only incontestable knowledge accessible to me. ~ Page 179
Excerpt: “On being Certain” -- Believing You Are Right Even when You’re Not Author Robert Burton M.D