floritis (PIPs)

After years of field observations, my husband may be about to publish a paper on a new disease he has discovered, which he calls floritis.

A seasonal ailment, floritis appears to strike each year between March and June, but may have different seasonal patterns depending on latitude and climate. Photographers seem to have a strong predisposition for floritis and should be considered a high risk population.

The primary signs and symptoms of the disease, which manifest more keenly during walks, include a tendency to oh! and ah! every few minutes, whipping out pocket cameras or smartphones every few meters, getting into odd, contorted positions, primarily kneeling low on the ground but occasionally also climbing up steep embankments, squeezing into tight spots, invading the privacy of people’s gardens, and otherwise greatly impeding the progress and disrupting the overall enjoyment of conjugal walks. Other manifestations include spending considerable amounts of time in the garden - to the detriment of other domestic chores, such as fixing delicious meals for hungry spouses - but with nothing to show for it in terms of actual improvements in the upkeep of the garden or any other conceivable gardening activities.

The disease needs further study with a larger cohort of subjects and double blind control groups, but, in the meantime, my husband considers it of vital importance that a photography community, such as Ipernity, should be on the look out for this menace to the wellbeing of photographers and (especially) their families. While in most cases the disease appears to resolve spontaneously as soon as the summer heat turns vegetation a dusty brown, there are documented cases of floritis affecting certain photographers all through the summer months and some highly predisposed individuals appear to never get over it altogether.

In the PIPs some typical outcomes of the above described contorted positions are shown, to further help enlighten the community regarding this pernicious disorder.