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autofantasia

autofantasia club

Posted: 22 Aug 2019

Taken: 22 Aug 2019

29 favorites     23 comments    818 visits

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Lost in the Dark ...

Lost in the Dark ...
For years the black dog has chased me in the darkness. I ran and ran until I couldn't run anymore. Then recently a light shone on me and I started to believe maybe, just maybe, things could get better.

But today that light disappeared and the darkness is all around once again. My sense of hopelessness has returned and so has the black dog.

What's more he seems bigger and stronger than before while I feel weaker than ever, so weak I don't feel I have it in me to keep fighting him.

And it leaves me wondering is there really any point in continuing this fight. Maybe it's time to just let him win.

Andrew Trundlewagon, DOMCHO, Taormina, and 25 other people have particularly liked this photo

Latest comments - All (23)
 autofantasia
autofantasia club has replied
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Thanks for that George, doing the best I can in these difficult times ... stay safe!
3 years ago.
 Annalia S.
Annalia S.
Such a strong, beautiful image for such anguished, desperate words, Autofantasia. But then, as if by magic, in your next post the deep black well gives way to playful light! They say artists feel more strongly and that is all very good and well for us lucky ones who get to enjoy their beautiful work, but for the artists themselves ... what a rollercoaster! Hang in there, my new Ipernity friend. Would it help any to tell you that discovering your images had my eyes and heart doing cartwheels?
3 years ago.
 autofantasia
autofantasia club has replied
(see the discussion)
I wouldn't call myself an artist, but I do try and be as artistic as my limited skills will allow. As for your other kind words they did indeed help to lift my spirits!
3 years ago.
 Valfal
Valfal
What a very artistic representation of the darker side of moods. I do hope that you are getting along better these days, Paul. I too have battled the darkness of depression, so I understand completely what a monster it can be.
3 years ago.
 autofantasia
autofantasia club
Glad you like what I tried to do here Val and I'm sorry that you've had to battle depression too. Hopefully, you're in a better place these days, I myself am still struggling, but I do what I can.

I appreciate it means many different things to different people and I guess much of that comes down to the cause and whether or not it is a one off. Mine is unfortunately quite severe and chronic in its nature. I liken it to almost being like a cancerous tumour, you can't see it, but its there and most of the time it goes almost unnoticed at least to those around you.

Over the years it's affected me in so many ways resulting in me losing most of my long-term memories and my day to day cognitive abilities have been reduced dramatically. I've lost my career, friends and often any sense of hope, but I guess the main thing is that I'm still here, still fighting it and I'm grateful in a way for that because I know many people who've had similar problems are not.

Anyway, on that cheery note let me just wish you well as I gather from your comments elsewhere that you've recently undertaken a significant move. I hope you and your husband enjoy your new life in Florida.
3 years ago. Edited 3 years ago.

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